Prose sketching for a comic book script

Okay this is a quick bit I came up with a few nights ago because I really couldn’t get any sleep and I was sort of taking mental notes for this particular superhero comic book script I’ve been promising myself I’ll get to write one day. I mean, eventually get to write one day.
I did this full text, in prose, just to get the characters’ rhythm, so as to test the beat of the dialogue, etc. The seaside scenery really shouldn’t be taken into account because I’ll later switch it to a more urban setting (chose the island thing for this bit because I was listening to some Irish pop rock, I think either the Pogues or the Waterboys and the lyrics just kept saying stuff about the British islands, so the thing pretty much stuck in my mind like a meme).

I’m painfully all-too-aware it ended up reading like bad High School poetry but again, this is just a sketching: To err here, not to err elsewhere.
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So stood Lauren and Peer before the great divide splitting the mainland from the chain of small islands perpetually floating into the great beyond like buckshot anchored all across the horizon.
Peer spread out his arms and lifted his chin up, eyes closed in a soft silent smile so as to greet the first droplets of the fine rain about to pour. Lauren said nothing for a while, kicked a pebbled and waited.
“Did you ever think we’d get this far in life?” asked Peer without opening his eyes. “And I don’t mean the geography, man.”
Lauren pondered for a full minute as her gaze fell over the ocean line, then said, “It never really turns out the way we plan, isn’t that so?”
“Laurie, man,” said Peer putting both his hands over her shoulders and facing her up front. “It turned out just the way I’d hoped.”
“Just as long as don’t tell me you…”
“That I love you? Jesus, man, I really do,” added Peer.
“No you don’t. You love the idea of loving me,” said Lauren gently brushing Peer’s hands aside. “And I can’t thank you enough for that.”
Peer turned his back to her and faced the islands under the light summer rain.
“Is control over the self supposed to make you feel more secure?” he asked in a serious, honest voice. “Because that’s what it is all about, isn’t it? Running from the little girl scared to Hell into the woods? Or something like that?”
She took a deep breath and stretched her arm just so that it touched the hairs on the back of his neck. “So for how long do you plan on loving me this time around?”
Peer turned to her once more and held her hand in both his own. He attempted to sketch an answer upon his lips but returned just an ironic though honest smirk instead.
“Do you plan on loving me for at least as this day is long?”
“We can keep the sun from ever setting, you know,” said Peer bringing her hand to his lips and kissing it just above the knuckles. “If we try hard enough.”