8/18/2006

In conversation with Me, Myself, and this other guy named Me Too

M1: I think I got a problem with this housing thing, and I might have bitten more than I can chew at work.
M2: I don’t think so.
M1: How so?
M2: Item one: A problem’s a dinosaur eating through a concrete bridge in the middle of the city at noon, anything else’s a situation. Item two: No such thing if you think big enough.
M1: Okay. I’ll agree with you on #2, but the thing about the dinosaur is oversimplifying things a bit…
M2: No. No, it’s not. The world’s built on aphorisms, truisms…
M1: …And one-liners?
M2: Damn right.
M1: Still…
M2: So?
M1: If not a problem, it’s still a situation that needs to be taken care of…
M2: And you want my blessing?
M1: I need your blessing so I can use our… stuff? That thing we do that nobody else does…?
M2: Do you have any idea how silly that sounds?
M1: For lack of a better term…
M2: Come up with one, for chrissakes…
M1: Maybe later. As of now, I need…
M2: But come on, it wouldn’t be fair.
M1: Well life’s not fair, buddy.
M2: Aww. Do what you will, then. But just this time.
M1: Is that a yes?
M2: Sure.
M1: Cool. Thanks.
M2: Don’t mention it. Anything else?
M1: Problem’s as good as solved.

(enter, M3)

M3: If I called the shots in here, I’d use our stuff 24 hours a day. We’d rule the world!
M1: Hey, I’ll second that!
M2: Maybe tomorrow.
M1: Why?
M3: Wuss.
M2: Maybe when we’ve settled on a few pending issues first. Then I’ll let us fly.
M3: Feels like keeping a Porsche parked indoors for life…
M1: I think I’ll…
M2: You’re the leading man.
M1: But I need you guys.
M3: I just think it’s not normal to talk to yourself in stereo surround
M1: …But I’m just thinking…
M3: …in three different voices!
M2: Well, now. This is my cue to leave the building.
M1: Hey. No, wait.

(exit, M2)

M1: Now see what you did?
M3: I didn’t do anything. Besides, you’re greenlit anyway.
M1: I’m a little… nervous, that’s all. Edgy.
M3: Wuss.
M1: Knock it off.
M3: W-u-s-s.
M1: I’m not a wuss, I’m just…
M3: What, afraid? Scared?
M1: Well…
M3: Oh c’mon. I know you. Tell me the truth…
M1: It’s…
M3: It’s so good to feel something for a change, isn’t it? Like, anything?
M1: …I guess…
M3: Oh please. Don’t throw uncertainty at us like that. You know you love it… Being afraid? Sailing through uncharted oceans? To embrace fear and drink it like cold water in the desert? Aren’t you a trailblazer? That’s what trailblazers do. So blaze that damn trail, you big S.O.B., come on!
M1: …Yeah.
M3: Yeah?
M1: Oh yeah. I think I love it, alright. You. Us.
M3: Riiiight. You’re damn crazy. Downright schizo, man.
M1: Takes a crazy person to live in a crazy world…
M3: Sic transit gloria mundi…

(exit, M3)

M1: Well, now. Bring it on!