Book of days

On Sunday I woke up with a fever, then got better as the day went, and I went to the movies to see Superman Returns for the fourth time because I had nothing better to do that afternoon.

On Monday I went to the office with that same fever; also the kitchen at my uncle’s burned down back in my hometown.

On Tuesday that same uncle, when cleaning after the fire, fell down and broke his hip. Also, I spent that night dreaming of buying an apartment for myself and even bought a trinket for the day I finally move in.

On Wednesday we kicked off Day 1 for the implementation of this software here at the office, this project we’ve been working on for the past few months now and (good news) the world did not end then & there. When I got home around 9 or 9:30pm my mother called me up and told me it was her birthday and I’d totally forgotten it. A few minutes later, I was told by my roommates that they were leaving the place for good in 20 days- which gives me those same 20 days to leave for good as well- I knew it was coming, only I had no idea it would be so soon.

On Thursday morning my stomach’s trying to eat itself as I work my way down a Superman Returns mug filled with black coffee, going through King Features’ the Phantom daily newspaper strip, and thinking about a different time…

Three or four years before that, though, I was driving my girlfriend home and this song was on, the Pet Shop Boys singing an Elvis Presley song, and she told me the lyrics fit our then-present situation like a glove and quoted from it repeatedly, as if apologizing.
She asked me if I still loved her.
“I don’t know,” I said, “I guess I do.”
She thought about it for a minute and then said things had changed a lot that past year. I nodded in silence.

On Thursday morning, 2006 I’m thinking that building that perfect world in white inside my head will do me no good at all because in times like these, like this, when the world comes tumbling down upon your head you’re better off carrying strictly your own luggage around. Looking out for no one but yourself.
So do what you will, kid, just please do not come home with a girlfriend in ’06.

On Thursday morning, 2006 I’m half-wishing for someone, anyone, to fly down from the sky to save the planet and make things right again… But then I remember that this is the real world and people don’t get saved by other people- that people actually save their own asses when push comes to shove- and if there’s this one thing I’ve learned in these last few years is how to get by on my own.