The “I shall (not) become a bat” post

Spent the last ten days at my parent´s, vacations and so on. If there´s one thing to do in one´s hometown when one doesn´t really want to spend any money, is to go walking around. And boy, did I walk! Was going at what, 20 Kms a day in my fancy Liberace shoes… I even got to see the sun. Scratch that one- I actually got myself a nice tan!
A nice tan… and one important realization. An epiphany:

Lowdown is, I´d make a poor Batman.
Here´s why:

True story: Back in the late ´50s / early ´60s my grandfather built two or three movie theaters back in my hometown. Dad never really says much about the time, though he often recalls that he saw The Blob for about six or seven times there when he was a kid, straight from the projection room. The one with Steve McQueen. The theaters were eventually sold to third parties a few years later, and ended up becoming televangelism churches not long ago. (Actually one of them did become an arcade, then a nightclub, then a church, but moot point there).
When my grandfather passed away this really cool thing happened (in a weird way); all of a sudden there was this guy attending the funeral about whom no one in the family knew zilch. As it turned out he´d been an employee from the cinema as a young man. He told me many, many stories about those days and... well, it was fascinating.
But I digress.

When I was a kid- and this was early ´80s, many years after grandpa had sold ´em, but before they were turned into temples- My parents would take me to the movies. There was also that one Friday evening that my grandmother, not the one married to the grandfather mentioned above, I´m talking about my mother´s mom now, she took me to see Moonwalker and I was really frightened because, wow!, pretty much all the audience was at least ten years older than I was, those damn punks clad in ragged jeans vests with shiny hairstyles… and I was all like, “Whoa! Those are honest-to-god gang members and they´re gonna mug grandma and I as soon as the movie ends.”
…Which never really came to pass anyway and she bought me ice-cream and we got home scot-free.

But back to Batman:
My parents took me to the movies with some regularity. Get this, Batman fanboy around seven or eight years old, walking home with his parents just off the movies at night… You get the picture. Every time.
Now, what really made me afraid wasn´t just urban violence. I mean, that´s a given. Too easy. What made me afraid was, if my parents were killed and I survived, there was no way in hell I would grow up to become the Batman, and that´s not the (lack of) money speaking.

Bruce Wayne got into “Batman mode” right that instant. By the time he was in his late teens he was already roaming the world, seeking perfection in all sciences and martial arts and whatnots.
Meaning, studying and sports. Namely, the last two things I´m good at.

Alan Scott the golden-age Green Lantern though, was riding in a train, then he came upon a magic ring. Hal Jordan the silver-age Green Lantern was flying in a simulator, then he came upon a magic ring.
Riding the train home from work and playing video-games. Sheesh.
Green Lanterns always had it easier.…