Inspiration for a screenplay

I´m not going to write a movie script. If I were, though, it would go something like this:

Guy in his late teens (protagonist) is courting this drop-dead gorgeous blonde at the beach (love interest), she the archetypal “hot chick” clad in a leopard-spot bikini. All of a sudden heck breaks loose and there are explosions everywhere.
Cut to an outer space shot, where an old Cold War-era Soviet weapons platform orbiting the Earth has just come back to life and is firing upon the planet. Space station belongs to the long-defunct “bat force” (antagonist) of the URSS, named for the queer fact that its crew stand upside-down in zero-G all the time.
First third of the movie is basically a boy-meets-girl sequence amidst commie fire pouring down from the sky. Needless to say, it is theirs the task of saving the world (established conflict).

They will need help, of course, and from the unlikeliest source possible: Enter this guy from Iceland called Onan Reykjavík (comic relief), named after that fellow in the Bible after whom the term “onanism” was coined. He´s in his mid-60s and should be played by Monty Python´s Eric Idle, else the gig is shot. O.R. claims a great deal about himself, which is exactly why he´s the only person on Earth capable of stopping the Soviet death satellite:
He claims he´s the first Caucasian man to have joined Haiti´s Tonton Macoute death-squad back in the late-1960s (true), he claims to have designed Lockheed´s SR-71 Blackbird spy-plane (false), and he also claims to being the Wandering Jew of legend (unlikely).
So this is the second third of the movie, in which the boy, the girl and the deranged old man roam America after a long-lost relic -the Spear of Destiny (which pierced the side of Christ at the Cross)- which has the power to bring down those pesky Russkies from the sky.

Not sure about the third third of the movie, but the fourth third is definitely a Douglas Adams joke.