7/05/2010

Go forth, Amazo, and destroy Isabella Swan!

If I ever actually lived in the make-believe world of comic books and such, first thing I'd ever do would be to steal the inert carcass of Amazo the Amazing Android from the Justice League of America trophy Room there back in Rhode Island, and have it re-wired so as to go forth and destroy that girl Bella from those annoying teenage vampire movies of late.

Now don't get me wrong: This isn't my delving deep into chick-flicks by any chance.
It's just that:

a) That girl Bella looks like this really crazy girl I used to go out with a few years back, who would talk to her cat and I suspect ended up breaking up with me because that cat must have told her so, and I have no idea why but I still think of her + like her quite a lot-- so whenever those goddamn Twilight traillers pop up, I sort of think of her, smitten as a pussycat;

b)...and sort of root for the werewolves to slash her throat or something, but that's mostly because not only she dumped me years ago, but she also stood me up on a date we would've had last New Year's Eve when we briefly flirted with a revival of sorts (which speaks volumes of my total lack of brains giving in to my heart);

c)...And that goddamn trailler has since become more ubiquitous than Robert Downey Jr...

d)What can I do: I'll live through the end of my days having a thing or three for crazy girls with big brown eyes and I had this picture of her holding a Green Lantern action figure and smiling and she looked so damn cute, which always made me think of...

Of...
Of......
Of.........

Wait. Heck. Jesus. This is still a post about bad vampire movies, right...?
Oh god, this post's been officially hijacked. I'm a total loser. If only I had this killer android with the powers and abilities of the Justice League to do me justice...

Go forth, Amazo, and destroy Isabella Swan!