Crisis on Bizarro World / Crisis on Lexor (An imaginary story)
I.
The best part of those annual Justice League / Justice Society crossovers they’d had in the Justice League of America magazine from the mid-1960s to the mid-1980s was that each year the plot would involve a different theme and bring upon different guest-stars, as the two teams would cross the dimensional barrier separating Earths-1 and 2 and meet.
For instance: Crisis On Earth-3 brought out the Crime Syndicate, an evil counterpart of the Justice League, whereas Crisis in Eternity featured the long-gone heroes of Fawcett Comics—from Captain Marvel to Mr. Scarlet.
The Crises varies down through the years and so did the guest-stars: Crisis in Apokolips? Bring on the New Gods. Crisis in Yesterday? Here’s Jonah Hex and the Viking Prince. Crisis in the 30th Century? There’s Mordru and the Legion of Super-Heroes. Nazis won World War II on a parallel world? Here’s the Freedom Fighters in Crisis on Earth-X. And so on.
Editor Julie Schwartz sure ran his distance with variations on that ever-popular theme.
But—in hindsight—he missed one:
They never did Bizarro World!
I mean, can you imagine a “Bizarro JSA”? How cool would that be?
So here’s my dreaming up of that “forgotten” JLA/JSA team-up that never was, in a straightforward Julie Schwartz-like plot:
II.
This is a two-parter.
First part is Crisis on Bizarro World:
The villain Brainwave crosses over from Earth-2 and makes Bizarro (Superman foe) to fall in love with the JSA’s Power Girl, and kidnap her from Earth-2—because Brainwave himself is in love with Power Girl and wants to marry her himself.
Bizarro kidnaps Power Girl from Earth-2 and takes her back to the Earth-1 Universe, to the planet Htrae (“Bizarro World”) and he’s about to expose her to the Bizarro duplicator ray—so as to make an imperfect copy of PeeGee—a contingent of JLAers and JSAers arrive to save the day.
The JSAers are exposed to the duplicator ray instead, which causes the creation of a “Bizarro JSA”—The Bizarro JSAers are not only imperfect versions of the heroes, but they’re also teenagers where the JSAers themselves are middle-aged. For instance: Bizarro Wildcat, a middle-aged boxing champion would become Kitty-Kat, a teenaged girl. Dr. Fate the magician would have his Bizarro version as Potshot Kid. And down from there. Intentionally silly and wacky as Bizarros should ever be.
Part one would end with a hook as Brainwave would expose Power Girl to Golden Kryptonite, permanently erasing her powers and turning her into an ordinary human—So as he could finally marry her.
(On a sidenote, the very best part of reading pre-1980s comic books is mentally replacing the word “marry” with the most f*cked-up fetishist term one can think of whenever a super-villain wants to “marry” a super-heroine. Like, remember the old Superfriends cartoon when Darkseid would want to “marry” Wonder Woman? Man, I bet those high heeled boots and magic lasso could work wonders indeed…)
III.
Part two is Crisis on Lexor:
The Golden Kryptonite didn’t work on Power Girl because it’s from Earth-1 and she’s from Earth-2. That should have been a no-brainer, right? So, as PeeGee is about to kick the tar out of Brainwave, the villain brings her down with a mental lightning bolt (what? No, really!) and takes her to the planet Lexor.
Lexor of course is the red sun planet in which Lex Luthor is deemed a super-hero and Superman is considered a super-villain.
On Lexor, Peegee’s powers disappear (red sun, remember?), and so Brainwave is finally able to marry her. But the JLA and the JSA, having defeated the Bizarro-JSA on Htrae, arrive just in time to save the day. Trick is that the local population doesn’t like the super-heroes, and the JLA/JSA end up being taken prisoners by the locals, because they would never fight innocent people.
In the end, however, as Brainwave may have found safe haven on Lexor, Lex Luthor himself arrives from Earth and oddly enough, sides with the heroes—mad as hell at Brainwave for brining chaos to his perfect world and threatening his people.
Story ends with the JSA returning home with PeeGee safe and the Brainwave in tow, and Luthor stating to Superman that their truce was only temporary, blahblahblah, The End.
The best part of those annual Justice League / Justice Society crossovers they’d had in the Justice League of America magazine from the mid-1960s to the mid-1980s was that each year the plot would involve a different theme and bring upon different guest-stars, as the two teams would cross the dimensional barrier separating Earths-1 and 2 and meet.
For instance: Crisis On Earth-3 brought out the Crime Syndicate, an evil counterpart of the Justice League, whereas Crisis in Eternity featured the long-gone heroes of Fawcett Comics—from Captain Marvel to Mr. Scarlet.
The Crises varies down through the years and so did the guest-stars: Crisis in Apokolips? Bring on the New Gods. Crisis in Yesterday? Here’s Jonah Hex and the Viking Prince. Crisis in the 30th Century? There’s Mordru and the Legion of Super-Heroes. Nazis won World War II on a parallel world? Here’s the Freedom Fighters in Crisis on Earth-X. And so on.
Editor Julie Schwartz sure ran his distance with variations on that ever-popular theme.
But—in hindsight—he missed one:
They never did Bizarro World!
I mean, can you imagine a “Bizarro JSA”? How cool would that be?
So here’s my dreaming up of that “forgotten” JLA/JSA team-up that never was, in a straightforward Julie Schwartz-like plot:
II.
This is a two-parter.
First part is Crisis on Bizarro World:
The villain Brainwave crosses over from Earth-2 and makes Bizarro (Superman foe) to fall in love with the JSA’s Power Girl, and kidnap her from Earth-2—because Brainwave himself is in love with Power Girl and wants to marry her himself.
Bizarro kidnaps Power Girl from Earth-2 and takes her back to the Earth-1 Universe, to the planet Htrae (“Bizarro World”) and he’s about to expose her to the Bizarro duplicator ray—so as to make an imperfect copy of PeeGee—a contingent of JLAers and JSAers arrive to save the day.
The JSAers are exposed to the duplicator ray instead, which causes the creation of a “Bizarro JSA”—The Bizarro JSAers are not only imperfect versions of the heroes, but they’re also teenagers where the JSAers themselves are middle-aged. For instance: Bizarro Wildcat, a middle-aged boxing champion would become Kitty-Kat, a teenaged girl. Dr. Fate the magician would have his Bizarro version as Potshot Kid. And down from there. Intentionally silly and wacky as Bizarros should ever be.
Part one would end with a hook as Brainwave would expose Power Girl to Golden Kryptonite, permanently erasing her powers and turning her into an ordinary human—So as he could finally marry her.
(On a sidenote, the very best part of reading pre-1980s comic books is mentally replacing the word “marry” with the most f*cked-up fetishist term one can think of whenever a super-villain wants to “marry” a super-heroine. Like, remember the old Superfriends cartoon when Darkseid would want to “marry” Wonder Woman? Man, I bet those high heeled boots and magic lasso could work wonders indeed…)
III.
Part two is Crisis on Lexor:
The Golden Kryptonite didn’t work on Power Girl because it’s from Earth-1 and she’s from Earth-2. That should have been a no-brainer, right? So, as PeeGee is about to kick the tar out of Brainwave, the villain brings her down with a mental lightning bolt (what? No, really!) and takes her to the planet Lexor.
Lexor of course is the red sun planet in which Lex Luthor is deemed a super-hero and Superman is considered a super-villain.
On Lexor, Peegee’s powers disappear (red sun, remember?), and so Brainwave is finally able to marry her. But the JLA and the JSA, having defeated the Bizarro-JSA on Htrae, arrive just in time to save the day. Trick is that the local population doesn’t like the super-heroes, and the JLA/JSA end up being taken prisoners by the locals, because they would never fight innocent people.
In the end, however, as Brainwave may have found safe haven on Lexor, Lex Luthor himself arrives from Earth and oddly enough, sides with the heroes—mad as hell at Brainwave for brining chaos to his perfect world and threatening his people.
Story ends with the JSA returning home with PeeGee safe and the Brainwave in tow, and Luthor stating to Superman that their truce was only temporary, blahblahblah, The End.
posted by 186282mps at 9:27 AM
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