Super-villain team-up: Jesus Christ & Honoré de Balzac!

The following piece of dialogue is a summary of pretty much every interesting, non-work-related conversation I´ve had with women for the last couple of months or so:

ME: Do you wanna go to that R.E.M. concert with me? We could even grab a bite to eat afterwards and chat and stuff.
ANY GIRL: Not really. Since I´m a Christian I had to get [married/engaged] before I turned thirty, otherwise my arms would turn to dust and fall off, and giant fire ants would eat the flesh off my skullcap while I was sleeping.



Point is...
Regardless of the I-told-you-so´s and They-are-gonna-call-you-mad´s this subject´s eventually bound to attract, have you ever felt as if you were the only person at the museum store looking for a Patrick Nigel print amid the Monet, Cézanne, Degas and the rest of that crap...?