Samsara
I. The Big Bang theory
I was browsing through You Tube, I was looking for the trailer to Less Than Zero but somehow I stumbled upon the trailer to Tuff Turf instead. Figures. Both movies have James Spader and Robert Downey Jr. in them.
Funny thing was, I’d totally forgotten about that movie- I hadn’t thought of that movie in years and in hindsight it’s pretty clear to me that’s where our Cool came from, J.P.’s and mine, back in say, third grade or something. Good thing those mid-1980s teenage movies was, they really taught you to question authority and think for yourself.
Attitude, man.
II. The weekend before the week to come
To be quite honest with you the last thing I remember like, well before passing out was Siegfried-the-tenor slaying the marshland monster-looking dragon on the 20” bluescreen at home, several empty bottles of this strong beer by my side (the same brand I’d drink back in College), and an empty bottle of this rather expensive Chilean wine, too.
I woke up a couple of hours afterwards lying on the bathroom floor, my head on the small shower mat and drying vomit everywhere.
From then on it mostly flashes.
I remember throwing up a lot more, and I remember fumbling around the living room and almost dropping a bucket full of cleaning products over the carpet.
I remember showering, finally, and hitting the sack with my head no longer spinning. The next morning the bathroom was surprisingly clean (the perfect crime!) but I cleaned it up once more until it got downright spotless.
It was mostly penitence, I think, and Big Country was coming from the TV, some show back in Eastern Berlin, 1988.
Passing out drunk on beer and wine while watching some German Opera all by yourself on any given Friday night at home after some ghoulish day at the office… on one hand it’s freedom you won’t find anywhere else.
Still, it’d been quite some time since I’d last done such a thing and it reminded me how my lifestyle will probably end up getting the best of me. This addictive personality thing is consuming me.
What do you know.
Of course I sort of mellowed out the next evening and did nothing, really, but bought a couple of DVDs or something.
Also, I found a 24-hour p*rn video rental store very close to my home and I went to check it out, it was maybe eleven at night and there was an ungodly huge amount of p*rn but I got kind of annoyed because it was mostly uncategorized and I really hate to see uncategorized stuff.
People say that spotting patterns is what retards do but I left the store anyway. Maybe I really have Asperger’s or something after all.
III. Even if you die…
…is what this guy would tell me as we went from bar to bar back in P**** A**** the past week and I was pure & simply falling in love with that city.
…and of course we never died, though, not even last Thursday which was a national holiday and we drank beer non-stop from 2pm to 10pm, not even when it got down to the cooler, crazier stuff.
IV. When all your Kali Yuga dreams come true
Regardless that my computer crashed on Friday the 13th, that the course lasted until Saturday at noon, and that I did some sloppy job with the complimentary ice-cream on the flight back home, turns out my ex-girlfriend is engaged to some guy and they are getting married in a year or so.
Engines to full stop now.
Pay attention now because this is the part where it gets both tricky and serious:
All it takes is any given weekend and driving to her place. I can make everything right again, I can save the world- mine, hers, ours, everyone’s- with a five-minute monologue. I’m not speculating, I’m telling you.
It’s different.
But of course that’s where the line is drawn, isn’t it? It’s where intervention becomes domination or something to that effect. Why would you actually do something that you can?
I’m kind of tired of living it like this and I have been thinking of letting it rip once and for all, regardless of what the Pa Kent in me says.
Current plans therefore include being reborn as some goddamn two-ton rhino and making a dent the size of a battl*ship on those memetics of the mundane.
I was browsing through You Tube, I was looking for the trailer to Less Than Zero but somehow I stumbled upon the trailer to Tuff Turf instead. Figures. Both movies have James Spader and Robert Downey Jr. in them.
Funny thing was, I’d totally forgotten about that movie- I hadn’t thought of that movie in years and in hindsight it’s pretty clear to me that’s where our Cool came from, J.P.’s and mine, back in say, third grade or something. Good thing those mid-1980s teenage movies was, they really taught you to question authority and think for yourself.
Attitude, man.
II. The weekend before the week to come
To be quite honest with you the last thing I remember like, well before passing out was Siegfried-the-tenor slaying the marshland monster-looking dragon on the 20” bluescreen at home, several empty bottles of this strong beer by my side (the same brand I’d drink back in College), and an empty bottle of this rather expensive Chilean wine, too.
I woke up a couple of hours afterwards lying on the bathroom floor, my head on the small shower mat and drying vomit everywhere.
From then on it mostly flashes.
I remember throwing up a lot more, and I remember fumbling around the living room and almost dropping a bucket full of cleaning products over the carpet.
I remember showering, finally, and hitting the sack with my head no longer spinning. The next morning the bathroom was surprisingly clean (the perfect crime!) but I cleaned it up once more until it got downright spotless.
It was mostly penitence, I think, and Big Country was coming from the TV, some show back in Eastern Berlin, 1988.
Passing out drunk on beer and wine while watching some German Opera all by yourself on any given Friday night at home after some ghoulish day at the office… on one hand it’s freedom you won’t find anywhere else.
Still, it’d been quite some time since I’d last done such a thing and it reminded me how my lifestyle will probably end up getting the best of me. This addictive personality thing is consuming me.
What do you know.
Of course I sort of mellowed out the next evening and did nothing, really, but bought a couple of DVDs or something.
Also, I found a 24-hour p*rn video rental store very close to my home and I went to check it out, it was maybe eleven at night and there was an ungodly huge amount of p*rn but I got kind of annoyed because it was mostly uncategorized and I really hate to see uncategorized stuff.
People say that spotting patterns is what retards do but I left the store anyway. Maybe I really have Asperger’s or something after all.
III. Even if you die…
…is what this guy would tell me as we went from bar to bar back in P**** A**** the past week and I was pure & simply falling in love with that city.
…and of course we never died, though, not even last Thursday which was a national holiday and we drank beer non-stop from 2pm to 10pm, not even when it got down to the cooler, crazier stuff.
IV. When all your Kali Yuga dreams come true
Regardless that my computer crashed on Friday the 13th, that the course lasted until Saturday at noon, and that I did some sloppy job with the complimentary ice-cream on the flight back home, turns out my ex-girlfriend is engaged to some guy and they are getting married in a year or so.
Engines to full stop now.
Pay attention now because this is the part where it gets both tricky and serious:
All it takes is any given weekend and driving to her place. I can make everything right again, I can save the world- mine, hers, ours, everyone’s- with a five-minute monologue. I’m not speculating, I’m telling you.
It’s different.
But of course that’s where the line is drawn, isn’t it? It’s where intervention becomes domination or something to that effect. Why would you actually do something that you can?
I’m kind of tired of living it like this and I have been thinking of letting it rip once and for all, regardless of what the Pa Kent in me says.
Current plans therefore include being reborn as some goddamn two-ton rhino and making a dent the size of a battl*ship on those memetics of the mundane.
posted by 186282mps at 8:44 AM
<< Home